When you told the real stories to somebody then you start to miss him. I think I am honest with them, at least I TRY to be honest with them. If you are fond of someone, you go to him and make out with him. What else to do?
I am the passive one in one story and the active one in another. I don’t know how to pursuit further with Mr Jon, for god’s sake, except to pursuit my own career in becoming a happy and brilliant woman.
I don't want to exhaust my life on thinking of some guy, even some GREAT guy,minute and minute, day and night, as if I really don’t have anything more to do. I have to go somewhere RIGHT NOW. I can’t waste my youth, my young hot beautiful days. I really had a crush on him, feeling like he is the one I want-to-be, bright eyes, smart and free. People are different, if you would like to know, we are of different "soul depth". What I really like about Americans are, they are natural humans who understand themselves as who they are. They are less phony that way. They admit the society as it is and live the best with it. They would never say: oh I’m not able enough, I’m not handsome enough. What they would love to say is, I think my eyes are bright! Yours too, I’m proud of you. I think of RJ suddenly, somehow, and he is a mighty lovely man. He is a curious boy who would go fix the door locks and a happy man who is proud and content about what he has.
Think about it, the becoming of United States are brilliant-- almost a miracle, in my opinion. How does a vast land started from ancient to this industrialized mankind habitant? This new land, built so rapidly by all the people in the world- the Europeans, the Chinese, the Indians, the Arabians. It is a dreamland, if I may call it.
So we go forward. We help each other out and continue to build a better and more exciting world. Don’t look back, you are not who you are, you are who you want to be and you have what you have. Everybody does. Everybody is different and you have reason to be proud of it, the fact that you are one element of the united world. It’s more beautiful that way, it always excites me, and that’s probably the reason we go to parties and meet people, they are very interesting if you think about it.
